Don't look at the snake!

An even more formative story in my growing appreciation of art is set in Florence (or Fearendsee, if you delight in amateur Italian pronunciation).

At home I have what I think is a decent metal sculpture of Perseus, the proto Greek hero who cut off Medusa's head full of snakes. Up to this point that's just about all I knew about art and history in one sentence.

My Perseus. I don't even know the artist.

Naturally, on a trip to Florence, you can't avoid the art. Wandering at random in the heart of the city you tend to stumble into the obvious, including the Palazzo Vecchio, seat of power for Duke Cosimo of the despotic Medici clan. Vecchio means 'old' and it's called that because the new sprawling Palazzo Pitti across the river is where the Medicis moved to continue their machiavellian reign of terror. Spectacularly, Cosimo had an elevated, enclosed walkway attached to or built through every building and structure, including the famous Ponte de Vecchio bridge across the river. This was to ensure that no Medici had to touch the ground (this is probably a euphemism for 'was exposed to assassination') when going from the old palace to the new one, over a kilometer away.

Out the front of the old palace is an awkward open air pavilion which has about a dozen statues on a raised stage. They're your usual suspects of stone Davids and various Roman gods. And there's one bronze Perseus.

Ok, Cellini's version is slightly better. 1554 (started in 1545!)

It's a standout for a few reasons. First, it's good. The others look a bit hacky in comparison. Second, it's the only bronze, which turns out was a bit difficult and old-fashioned when it was made. All the other statues are stone. And third, it seems to have pride of place.

I'd love to say I got it straight away, but I didn't. I have to explain a bit of ancient greek myth here.

Perseus' story is older than the Iliad or the Odyssey. (Homer's poems? You know, some of the first ever bits of story telling?)  Anyway, Perseus is half god, half man, all dangerous. To cut to the chase, he kills the gorgon Medusa whose gaze turns men to stone, by using the reflection in his shield to see her and hack off her head. BTW her hair is made of snakes. Way worse than a bunny-boiler. You can see this scene in a terrible movie called Clash of the Titans. Sam Worthington plays Perseus (if you can stand it. One star, tops).

The statue was made by Benvenuto Cellini, a bisexual murderer with an ego bigger than Trump's. A massive blowhard, he was one of the first people arrogant enough to write an autobiography which has been referenced in numerous modern plays, novels and movies and is a work so full of bullshit that Trump could take lessons.

Anyway, Cellini was obnoxious and talented enough to ingratiate himself with the Duke and get a commission for the new pavilion out the front of the palace. He knew that modern stone statues of men would fill the place, so he resurrected the half-century old bronze casting method to depict Perseus holding Medusa's head because Medusa's gaze turned men to stone. He insisted that his Perseus should be positioned so Medusa's gaze falls on all the other stone statues. Admit it, that's clever.

Duke Cosimo agreed because he wanted to sell a narrative that he'd cut the head off the old, corrupt republic and replaced it with his generous empire. Hard to swallow but he was the one with the zillions in the bank and the public image problem.

Cellini basically had to re-invent bronze casting because no-one knew how to do it. After a few attempts he was desperate and burnt all his furniture to keep the bronze liquid long enough to fill the negative mold. His best casting was still missing some toes, which were bashed on later. It took five years just to polish the rough casting out of a total of nine years he spent on the whole thing. Though I'm guessing some of that time was spent big-noting himself, fucking various attractive people and replacing the furniture.

Although Cellini meant for it to face the other statues, the statue faces outwards today. On the the back of Perseus' helmet is a relief of Cellini's own face (see? Arrogant.)  It's hard to ignore Perseus' perfect buttocks, the fact that Cellini was bisexual, and the reflection of Cellini's face in the back of the helmet. I bet he spent a lot of time polishing those buttocks.

Polished. Buttocks. You can't unsee this.

Benvenuto Cellini's sex face.